ALCOHOL
  • Cheap to make
  • Occurs naturally
  • Highly effective cleanser/steriliser
  • A useful solvent in perfumes etc
  • Volatity of compound means it can be used in hand sanitising gels (with no towel drying needed)
But it's not enough. What else can we do with this miracle cleaner?

Drink it!!!!!

Obvious.
  • Lose all resposibilty - a great excuse!
  • Spend a fortune!
  • Highly addictive - ever had "just one"?!
  • Third* in line for causing cancer!
  • Damages all parts of the body! Guaranteed.
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It even looks nice.
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This man has drunk his head off. He has to hold it in place.

Alcohol (now in many flavours and colours) keeps you nice and dumb and placid. Perfect for today's busy individual that doesn't want to face up to things and turn them around.

As a kid, you'd run around the dancefloor at weddings, sliding around and having fun. Next, society heaps a social consciousness on you and hey presto, you need a drink just to be the person you were born.

Thankfully, once you've had a drink it's incredibly difficult to stop, and the govenment has been kind enough to keep it legal as, without that first sip, it's none addictive. So they look considerate AND make a fortune in tax. Win win.

Policy makers have been paid off by breweries too.

Get it down you. Cheers.
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*after 1. Animal Protein and 2. Tobacco/ Weed smoking.